I hate it so much...hate myself for pretending to be okay and keep a smile on my face but inside it is so hurt...i'm dying..i wanna to be myself but i can't....cos i know if i bbecome myself,i will get hurt...so deeply...and ended up i'm weak...i don want...sometimes,i don know why...i became myself back...especially with my friends(sometimes only)..sometimes even with my friends,i will also get hurt...i wanna to be cruel to my friends(only sometimes) but i don know why i can't...i don know why i can't be cruel...hate it so much..i wan to be cruel to them because i don wan to get hurt anymore...i really can't take it anymore...i really really so tired...i don know how long i can take it...